39 thoughts on “No, you haven’t accidentally clicked on The Onion’s site

  1. If I had magical powers, I would turn Wayne Pacelle into the dog that lives with Vick. This dog would be fully aware of his previous life, but unable to speak.

    1. Clarice wins! Oh, and his daughters want a dog…so that makes it important that we bend the rules, yet again, to accommodate him?!? (Only if he gets three more touchdowns in this next game maybe.) Perhaps he should get a pair of dogs, what’s Ingrid Newkirk doing in her next life?

    2. THIS is an outstanding idea. And he should be exclusively fed the vegetarian dog food being hawked by HSUS, the one made in Korea out of mostly crappy cereal and who knows what else.

  2. I can also tell you from experience that Pacelle is uncomfortable around animals.

    Then again, so is my boyfriend, who is by FAR the best pet guardian I know. He would be totally happy if we shared our home with no non-humans.

    Unwillingness to “own” animals doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate them, respect them, not want them not, just like unwillingness to have children doesn’t automatically mean you hate or dislike them. It’s a personal choice. For some people defending non-humans isn’t about emotion – it’s about logic.

    Personal opinion on Vick aside (mine is that Vick should never touch another dog, ever) how do y’all feel about other “reformed” dog fighters having dogs? Believe it or not there are other dog fighters out there who have turned around and are now speaking out against dog fighting who still have their dogs. I’ve never heard anyway say anything except “wow, how great” about that.

    1. I’m all for second chances. But I think the critters deserve them before the humans because the critters generally have way fewer choices.
      Vick CHOSE to kill/fight/torture dogs. Yes, he was arrested, but not for animal abuse. He got nailed on the gambling thing, and THAT is what he served time for. He’s never apologized for the way he abused/killed those dogs.
      His kids want a dog—how “normal!” Because his kids want a dog, our society is supposed to just roll-over and “let by-gones be by-gones?” THIS is why HSUS and PETA opt to kill all dog fighting bust dogs no matter age, gender or temperament. They want the evidence removed so that they can rewrite history for their own benefit.
      Vick hasn’t paid for the dogs he used to own! (Is there such a thing as Pet Support?)
      I’d hate it if somebody told me I wasn’t allowed to have a dog. But, then again, I haven’t purposely electrocuted a “cull” either.
      I just feel all slimy when I see how his football career tends to buy him forgiveness for his abusive past. (Happens with other violent and abusive *stars* too.)
      He doesn’t comment directly to Animal Activists. He hides behind HSUS and his media people!

      1. I agree with you completely. He’s only sorry he got caught and he didn’t “mistakenly” be a part of a dog fighting ring. He made a conscious decision to harm these dogs.

  3. Per Vick …”I think it would be a big step for me in the rehabilitation process. I think just to have a pet in my household and to show people that I genuinely care, and my love, and my passion for animals.”

    So it’s really not about getting a dog for a pet, for you know … companionship, unconditional love, that sort of thing. It’s a PR thing to show *my* (his) passion and love. Plus help with the rehab.
    Well what if the rehab doesn’t work Micheal? Will your BFF Pacelle bail you out again while making thousands of dollars off of the poor dog’s back? Will it be used against the general pet owning public as one more shining example of how we can’t be trusted and pets must be legislated right out of homes and lives?

    I’m all for second chances but this one, as does this combination of *friends* scare the willie’s out of me. I so hope it’s true, that by court, he CAN’T have one!


  4. There is a quote attributed to Oscar Wilde,

    “If you are going to tell people the truth, you had better make them laugh or they will kill you.”

    Maybe the good folks at SNL can do a skit on this…they did one of Seigfrid and Roy (when Roy was attacked) – and it was funny…

    Vick/Pacelle would be a challenge…

  5. HSUS pushed through the “Puppy Mill Bill” or Prop B here in MO, took credit for the publicity and how much they “care” about dogs, and left – of course, they are not helping CHANGE the puppy mills but it sure made good copy. Thus, I don’t trust Pacelle one iota, Newkirk even less and Vick NEVER. IMHO, his getting a dog in the manner of which he speaks is all self-promotion. His girls can volunteer at a shelter.

  6. From what I’ve read his children did have pet dogs, their loving father killed them by dropping them in the fight ring with his fighting dogs. He thought it was really funny how they got ripped to shreds. So….no, just no. Never. I don’t think sociopaths get better, maybe no fair of me but so be it.

  7. vida – the problem is that it was never proven in court.

    If Vick wants to get a dog, and ESPECIALLY with Pacelle behind him, he’ll get one. Maybe even a pit bull, or an american bulldog, or a “Boxer/Lab”.

    Because our justice system sucks and Pacelle has a motive here that we just haven’t figured out yet. I think his ego has run away with him and he wants to look like the hero that rehabilitated the “World’s Worst Offender” of dogfighting (not even close, but certainly the most infamous).

    He can already see the Time special, Vick at home with his kid’s dogs, one fluffy one for show of course, the rest big macho “man” dogs, lovingly making them all dinner, and playing fetch, cuddling on the couch, going to training class.

    Problem is, Big Ol’ Vick has never had to actually share his home with one of the dogs he’s mistreated. It may be interesting. Who knows, he may adopt a pair of rottweilers to look macho and when no one’s looking hit them just one too many times – you can only beat a rottweiler so much. Karma may be delivered in the form of a dog.

    Regardless, as I said, I don’t see any way to prevent it, as much as I want to wretch at the very thought of even driving my dogs past this loser’s house.

    What needs to happen is federal reform for animal abusers. If the last few years hasn’t proven that, I don’t know what will.

  8. I’m sorry. When you engage in recreational dog killing you don’t get a second chance to own another dog. I hope that the judge who makes the call says “Hell no!” Not now. Not ever.

  9. “To me, Vick is a wretched sociopath. He condoned and participated in the torture of innocent animals; there are few things lower than that. He hung them, drowned them, beat and shot them, pulled the teeth from female dogs so that they couldn’t fight back in breeding cages. That represents psychological issues that transcend apologies. I’m not buying the “New Vick.” Rubbish. You can bet that somewhere in that Eagles helmet, the sick, twisted one still exists.”
    –Rick Chander, NBC Sports at

    Yep. Still exists and is no doubt still capable of
    torturing and killing innocent dogs for his sick, twisted, sadistic pleasure. You can bet on it.

  10. Wayne and Mike make a great team-but no Vick should never have a dog and he is not reformed. They are some reformed dog fighters, but he is not one of them and Wayne is just pathetic and doing untold damage to humane societies out there that do help dogs!

  11. According to another article on the subject, the Phili Eagles have paid HSUS fifty grand to *rehab* Vick’s image.

    I still stand by my opinion that this is a publicity stunt … and pity the dog that gets caught between those two bozos.

    Also read another *expose* that Vick admits he’d still * be doing it* if he had not been caught.

    Dog fighting is a *fad* since Vick has come to town in philie … you gotta wander why that is ???

  12. My take: Vick has explained his involvement in dogfighting as the way he was raised, didn’t know it was wrong, etc. In trying to understand that, I picture a 22 year old man who has never left the county where he was born. He lives with his family who taught him about dogfighting as a source of pride and income. The family, their relatives and their friends all live at poverty level. The young man reads at a grade school level and did not graduate high school. He has limited or no internet access. I can understand how someone in these circumstances might say he didn’t realize it was wrong to fight dogs.

    Michael Vick on the other hand was in his late twenties, well educated at a prestigious college, had traveled extensively for his job as an athlete, and was wealthy by any account. To blame his involvement on dogfighting on the trappings of his upbringing is farcical. He had moved very far beyond the circumstances of his upbringing – further than most of us would ever have the opportunity to do.

    In addition, he did not just FIGHT dogs. He tortured and killed them outside the ring too. And not just your run-of-the-mill tying a dog to a tree and throwing rocks at it type torture. He sadistically and repeatedly tortured dogs so that they would suffer before his eyes. That’s not a result of anyone’s upbringing – that’s the sign of a freak.

    So as far as being rehabbed, I’m not buying it. Because to me, his entire explanation is a lie.

  13. My, my. Although Vick never did time for the torture and killing of dogs and his sentence related to his federal crimes, he did admit in his plea deal to participating in the torture and killing of dogs. He was not simply an observer. To me, that takes the whole “but I was raised around fighting” argument out of play. Figthing is bad enough. The torture is worse. If you have not read Jim Gorant’s book called The Lost Dogs, I would encourage you to do so. It is very graphic in parts, of course.

    Vick should have been legally enjoined from ever “owning” another animal as part of his plea deal. I fault the state and Mr. Poindexter for that, among many, many other things.

    As for Pacelle, he is an imposter of the worst kind and he should be ashamed of himself and his money grubbing organization.

    1. When I heard this and his explanation that his children want a dog, I thought, well, tell them what you did to dogs and that is why they cannot have a dog until they are adults and leave his home. This “man” shoud never be allowed to have any pets. And using his upbringing as an excuse, as many have said, he moved way beyond that upbringing and knew exactly what he was doing. I still don’t understand why the NFL commissioner allowed him back into the league.

      1. Martha, the NFL took him back because of Wayne Pacelle. Vick’s image team marketed him around. Best Friends said no (if you have not read Francis Battista’s description of this, I encourage you to do so. I’m sure I can find the link). When they got to the HSUS, Pacelle said, “sure! We’ll work with you!” In the wake of an endorsement from the HSUS, Roger Goodell no doubt said to himself that if Vick was good enough for the HSUS, he must be good enough to play in the NFL. I will not watch one mini-second of him on television and just hearing his name gets me wound up.

  14. you know, I could ALMOST accept and forgive his involvement with dogfighting as a “cultural” thing. ALMOST. Because, despite our disgust and incredulity, it does seem true that at least some “dogmen” did care about their dogs. And (setting aside, if that were possible, the innate cruelty of organized dogfighting) these men did have house pets, and they did give failed dogs to their family members (and these dogs became, IMO, our family APBT of today). It’s impossible for us to understand this mentality, but they truly did believe that dogfighting was not cruel, that dogs “wanted” or even “loved” to fight. (shudder).

    But Vick went way beyond that. There’s eyewitness testimony about the beatings, electrocution, drownings and other hands-on cruelty. In what universe would someone need to be “educated” that this behavior is unacceptable?

    And it’s for that behavior, in addition to his dogfighting, that the judge was correct in forbidding him to own dogs.

    Vick thinks HE’S a victim. He thinks the law shouldn’t apply to him and that his sentence should be commuted. There’s the root of his moral failure. He thinks that because he can throw a football, he’s above the petty rules that govern everyone else.

    And it’s certainly our society’s failure that so many people seem to agree with him.

    1. I was watching a golf-related sports program the other evening and a commentator compared a certain golfer who’s had trouble this year to Vick, saying “people have forgiven him and moved on.” Guess I wasn’t part of that opinion poll.

      I know for many people, they are “just dogs.” I know many people could care less if dogs are tortured and killed when they don’t fit the bill for fighting. Many more people think he’s paid his debt to society for serving come time. I’m not sure most people understand what he pled to and don’t understand that the state of Virginia gave him a pass on the torture and cruelty charges.

      I know I’m preachin’ to the choir here but I guess in my own naive way, I think if more people knew details, they might be less apt to cheer him on with such enthusiasm. I’ve never understood how he could return to the status of celebrity.

  15. For example, I doubt there’s a single APBT advocate who thinks that Louis Colby, whom I assume was a dogfighter in his youth when it was legal, and comes from a heritage of dogfighters, shouldn’t own dogs. In fact, he’s very well respected for preserving the Colby line of APBTs.

  16. Vick enjoyed torturing and killing those dogs – there is that in some humans –

    A Vick-like subhuman once ran the local Animal Control where I live. He’s dead now….maybe there is some peace and justice in the afterlife for animals terrorized by those type of monsters. No one knows…

    Meantime read Aaron Sorkin: In Her Defense, I’m Sure the Moose Had It Coming – he compares Sarah Palin to Vick…

  17. I think this just shows that the Face of Evil, Micheal Vick, STILL doesn’t get that what he did was wrong.

  18. This has absolutely nothing to do with animal welfare. It is all about money and celebrity.

    Ingrid Newkirk has said that PETA is a media whore. I think Pacelle is running neck to neck with PETA now. It is disgusting that this is what is running our national “humane” organization. What a sick joke.

  19. For me it comes back to this: the man should still be in prison. The law needs to change. Then, his football career, footsies with HSUS, desire for a pet, and the horrifying idea that he is parenting children would all be moot points.

  20. While the Vick case of animal cruelty is undeniably extreme, I wonder if a person that is ever convicted of animal cruelty, regardless of severity, should be allowed to work with animals. For me, I don’t think so. If a court of law rules that you are guilty of animal cruelty, how can you ever be trusted to work with animals. Should there be some kind of step program that verifies you have learned how to treat animals?

    Just wondered how others felt about that.

  21. I know Vick is not sorry, so he should not be allowed to have a dog. If he was sorry he would show remorse, he would take every chance he could to apologize (and it would be sincere), and he would chastise himself for what he did. That takes humility, of which he has none. If he were really sorry he would be working his ass off making things right, donating, collecting dog food and treats, sewing beds and dog jackets, writing up petfinder ads, he would be on his hands and knees scrubbing kennels. No he is not sorry, he does not feel bad about what he did. He still sees dogs as objects and he still lacks the moral fortitude to own up to what he did and make every effort to make amends. His little girls will just have to suffer. That’s his fault. Many children who want pets (or more pets) have to wait until they are grown, his girls will too. Waiting will give the girls a chance to appreciate it when they are able to have dogs. But no dog should be allowed anywhere near Vick. Ever. For the rest of his life.

  22. Vick, serial abuser, torturer and killer of dogs, gets spun as a man trapped by his past. He got exposed to dog fighting culture when he was a kid so grew up thinking it was acceptable. I’m not buying it. But Vick may have learned early on what he could get away with. Maybe Pacelle is actually the one trapped by his past. I decided to learn more about Pacelle, a man whose bizarre support of Vick can’t be entirely understood in the context of money and celebrity (although mostly). I wondered whether he played sports in high school. So I read an old profile of Pacelle that came out in the Washington Post in 2007. Turns out his father was a high school football coach in CT, the kind that wins almost every game. No idea whether Pacelle played himself, but clearly football culture was something he got immersed in early on. As for the family pets? He mentions their dog–lab/golden mix who lived on a chain in the backyard. So much for empathy. If I remember correctly, Vick is on probation until sometime in 2012. He can’t own a dog as long as he’s still on probation,and I doubt he really wants one anyway. What he apparently wants is to accelerate the spin on his “image” so he make more money faster on new endorsement deals. I’m sure Pacelle and HSUS stand to benefit financially from their partnership with serial dog killer Vick. But maybe this is just a bit more personal for Pacelle? What a winner, that Vick.

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