I am the one who knocks.

Subject: Request for stats
From: <eiderdown@yesbiscuit.com>
Date: Sun, September 22, 2013 10:40 am
To: info@conwayshelter.org

Is your shelter open admission? Your website gives that impression but I wanted to ask to be certain. Would you please send me a copy of your most recent year’s statistics detailing intakes and outcomes?

Thank you,
Shirley Thistlethwaite

***

Subject: Request for stats
From: <eiderdown@yesbiscuit.com>
Date: Mon, September 30, 2013
To: info@conwayshelter.org

I haven’t received a reply to this e-mail so am re-sending.

Thank you,
Shirley Thistlethwaite

***

Subject: Re: Request for stats
From: Virginia Moore <vmoore@conwayshelter.org>
Date: Mon, September 30, 2013 11:37 am
To: “<eiderdown@yesbiscuit.com>”

I just googled her. She looks like trouble….

***

Snaaaap.

oh-no-i-hit-reply-all

HSUS Social Media Fail

Screengrab from Twitter, submitted by Kei.

Screengrab from Twitter, submitted by Kei.

Mailbag

I get a wide array of mail.  I need to share it more often.  Sharing this one with permission from reader Arlene because it cracked me up.  To provide a little context, Arlene normally sends me links and info accompanied by polite commentary or questions.  But she apparently woke up on the feisty side of the bed when she e-mailed me a link to the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center and copied a blurb from the webpage:

The ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center is available 24/365. A trained staff of veterinary toxicologists can access information to help diagnose problems and give treatment advice.

The fee is $65 to your credit card.

What made me chortle was Arlene’s subject line:

Did you know there were charges for this? After all the money they collect for doing nothing?

She makes a good case.  Millions in the bank, courtesy of compassionate animal lovers who think their donations are being used to help one eyed shelter pets shivering in cages, but the ASPCA won’t tell you if the chocolate chip cookie Buffy just ate is going to kill her unless you can cough up $65 in advance.

It wards off vampires, but not trolls apparently.

I get hatemail.  And for those of you who are coming up short in that department, I’m willing to share.  So today, a public expose of my eebil plot to try and kill dogs via a treat recipe page on my website:

Subject: Recipe problem
From: kevin rice <legalregisterednurse@yahoo.com>
Date: Tue, April 03, 2012 1:29 pm
To: eiderdown@yesbiscuit.com

Garlic is poisonous to dogs. Please save a pet and remove the garlic recipe’s

***

On Apr 4, 2012, at 5:25 AM, <eiderdown@yesbiscuit.com> wrote:

My dogs have eaten garlic for years.  No poisonings yet.  But if you feel more comfortable leaving it out, go ahead.

***
Subject: Re: Recipe problem
From: Legalregisterednurse <legalregisterednurse@yahoo.com>
Date: Wed, April 04, 2012 5:50 am
To: “<eiderdown@yesbiscuit.com>” <eiderdown@yesbiscuit.com>

It isn’t just me. Google it for yourself. Liver damage and intestinal bleeding just to name a few problems. Just because your dog shows no signs outwardly, doesn’t mean damage isn’t being done. Onions do irreversible damage too as well as does chocolate.

By the way, I know what I’m talking about, I am a Vet. (DVM) I do this for a living and have to put dogs down years before their time because their owners said that they looked fine.

Sent from my iPad

***

On Apr 4, 2012, at 7:06 AM, <eiderdown@yesbiscuit.com> wrote:
If you don’t like to feed your dogs garlic, don’t.  If it’s your personal mission in life to police the internet for dog treat recipes containing garlic, you can put my website down in your CONQUERED column or whatever makes you feel fulfilled and move along now.  You won’t be getting any more e-mails read since they will be going to the SPAM folder.

***

Subject: Hello . Saw your website
From: “Full Name” <krice@excite.com>
Date: Sat, April 14, 2012 2:50 pm
To: eiderdown@yesbiscuit.com

Great site. I agree with zero kill at shelters. I lost my lab a few years ago due to red blood cell disease. She was fine one day and was dead in two days. I fed her people food for the longest and when the veteranarean did an internal look he said that i fed her onions and garlic. He said he could tell by the damage. Please fix your recipe with the garlic you small minded fool. Just because you think it’s ok doesn’t make it so. You are an ass and all the people on the blogs are about to write you and about you. Your letter about the garlic was circulated over the net. You think you are smarter than a vet with 30 years experience?

Oh, you are i my spam folder so don’t try threatening us or bullying me because you can’t admit you’re wrong.

***

1.  Fake online persona – ur doing it rong.
2.  Hey – you stole my whole spam folder thing.
3.  All the best vets are cyberstalkers who misspell their chosen profession.

Seriously dude.  I have a page on my website for homemade dog treats which contains several recipes.  One of those recipes contains garlic as an ingredient, none contain onions.  If someone chooses to make the one recipe containing garlic as an ingredient, and chooses to include that ingredient, and feeds their dog one of these treats per day – or even you know, TWO!! or THREE!!! – no dogs are going to die.

One holistic vet addresses garlic concerns for dogs and cats here and says:

Cats are more susceptible to garlic-induced anemia than are dogs because the cat’s hemoglobin is different than the dogs.

The same vet also indicates the toxic dose of garlic for pets is 1 – 2 cloves per 2.2 pounds body weight.  This translates to:

5 – 10 cloves for an 11 pound dog

10 – 20 cloves for a 22 pound dog

15 – 30 cloves for a 33 pound dog

20 – 40 cloves for a 44 pound dog

25 – 50 cloves for a 55 pound dog

35 – 70 cloves for a 66 pound dog

40 – 80 cloves for an 88 pound dog

Dr. Richard Pitcairn is good with garlic for dogs, as is Dr. Michael Fox (although neither of them seem to be up on the correct spelling of “veteranarean”, so obviously take what they say with a grain of garlic salt).  But again, feed what you feel is best for your dog.  Omit the garlic if you prefer.  I promise you, I don’t care.

I put up that page on my site because I enjoy making biscuits for the dogs and wanted to share a few recipes.  The page was intended as one dog owner sharing recipes with other dog owners.  It’s not a substitute for veterinary advice and it’s entirely unreasonable to believe that anyone would take it as such.  As with many pages on the internet, it’s old.  Some of those recipes have weathered well in my kitchen over the years and others have faded.  I haven’t made the treat recipe in question for quite a long time – not because I’m afraid for my dogs’ lives but because I have a sensitive sniffer and those treats make the kitchen smell like garlic while baking.  I should freshen up the page with some new recipes.  Let me consult my Book of Evil to see what I can come up with.

In the meantime, I await with immense anticipation hearing from “all the people on the blogs”.  I love those guys.

Memphis Flyer Writer Pwns the Whiners

Remember the great article about MAS that appeared recently in the Memphis Flyer?  One of the “Friends” wrote in to complain about it in a letter to the editor.  Among the complaints are that Memphis is not like Austin (which is true – Austin must work a lot harder to maintain no kill than Memphis ever would have to) and that the writer didn’t interview the “Friends” for the piece.

The author responded:

An attempt was made to contact the volunteer coordinators at Friends of Memphis Animal Services, but there was no response. I did interview a couple of volunteers for the article, but they mostly complained about the volunteers’ relationship with Friends of Memphis Animal Services. Without a response from the Friends group, I could not run any quotes from those interviews.

Oh.  Oh dear.  So apparently she not only got blown off by the “Friends” on her interview request, but she also gave them the generous courtesy of not quoting the volunteers who went on the record as being bullied by the group.

Then the “Friends” publicly complained that they weren’t interviewed.

Awkward.

Pets Alive: Battling Black Dog Syndrome one drink at a time.

You have probably heard of Black Dog Syndrome (the same applies for cats).  Black pets often seem to be overlooked at shelters, through no fault of their own, and so some groups do promotions to help encourage adopters to take another look.  These promotions sometimes include adoption fee discounts or even dressing up the black pets in fancy collars, bandannas or costumes.  But Pets Alive in Middletown, NY has come up with an entirely new approach:  They are reducing the fees on their black pets while apparently getting sloshed.  From Straus News.com:

If you are in the area and considering adopting a pet, I’d hurry down to Pets Alive to get in on this deal – before the staff gets too drunk to complete your adoption application.

Optimism

Sometimes I e-mail MAS and offer to try and help the dogs in the stray area but I don’t get a response.  So I keep trying.  Dog, I feel your pain.

Cats That Look Like Hitler

Warning:  Time suckage ahead.

Hilarious

…but not for the easily offended or those who might be lacking a sense of humor seeing as it’s Monday and all:

Missy the Missing Cat