It wards off vampires, but not trolls apparently.

I get hatemail.  And for those of you who are coming up short in that department, I’m willing to share.  So today, a public expose of my eebil plot to try and kill dogs via a treat recipe page on my website:

Subject: Recipe problem
From: kevin rice <>
Date: Tue, April 03, 2012 1:29 pm

Garlic is poisonous to dogs. Please save a pet and remove the garlic recipe’s


On Apr 4, 2012, at 5:25 AM, <> wrote:

My dogs have eaten garlic for years.  No poisonings yet.  But if you feel more comfortable leaving it out, go ahead.

Subject: Re: Recipe problem
From: Legalregisterednurse <>
Date: Wed, April 04, 2012 5:50 am
To: “<>” <>

It isn’t just me. Google it for yourself. Liver damage and intestinal bleeding just to name a few problems. Just because your dog shows no signs outwardly, doesn’t mean damage isn’t being done. Onions do irreversible damage too as well as does chocolate.

By the way, I know what I’m talking about, I am a Vet. (DVM) I do this for a living and have to put dogs down years before their time because their owners said that they looked fine.

Sent from my iPad


On Apr 4, 2012, at 7:06 AM, <> wrote:
If you don’t like to feed your dogs garlic, don’t.  If it’s your personal mission in life to police the internet for dog treat recipes containing garlic, you can put my website down in your CONQUERED column or whatever makes you feel fulfilled and move along now.  You won’t be getting any more e-mails read since they will be going to the SPAM folder.


Subject: Hello . Saw your website
From: “Full Name” <>
Date: Sat, April 14, 2012 2:50 pm

Great site. I agree with zero kill at shelters. I lost my lab a few years ago due to red blood cell disease. She was fine one day and was dead in two days. I fed her people food for the longest and when the veteranarean did an internal look he said that i fed her onions and garlic. He said he could tell by the damage. Please fix your recipe with the garlic you small minded fool. Just because you think it’s ok doesn’t make it so. You are an ass and all the people on the blogs are about to write you and about you. Your letter about the garlic was circulated over the net. You think you are smarter than a vet with 30 years experience?

Oh, you are i my spam folder so don’t try threatening us or bullying me because you can’t admit you’re wrong.


1.  Fake online persona – ur doing it rong.
2.  Hey – you stole my whole spam folder thing.
3.  All the best vets are cyberstalkers who misspell their chosen profession.

Seriously dude.  I have a page on my website for homemade dog treats which contains several recipes.  One of those recipes contains garlic as an ingredient, none contain onions.  If someone chooses to make the one recipe containing garlic as an ingredient, and chooses to include that ingredient, and feeds their dog one of these treats per day – or even you know, TWO!! or THREE!!! – no dogs are going to die.

One holistic vet addresses garlic concerns for dogs and cats here and says:

Cats are more susceptible to garlic-induced anemia than are dogs because the cat’s hemoglobin is different than the dogs.

The same vet also indicates the toxic dose of garlic for pets is 1 – 2 cloves per 2.2 pounds body weight.  This translates to:

5 – 10 cloves for an 11 pound dog

10 – 20 cloves for a 22 pound dog

15 – 30 cloves for a 33 pound dog

20 – 40 cloves for a 44 pound dog

25 – 50 cloves for a 55 pound dog

35 – 70 cloves for a 66 pound dog

40 – 80 cloves for an 88 pound dog

Dr. Richard Pitcairn is good with garlic for dogs, as is Dr. Michael Fox (although neither of them seem to be up on the correct spelling of “veteranarean”, so obviously take what they say with a grain of garlic salt).  But again, feed what you feel is best for your dog.  Omit the garlic if you prefer.  I promise you, I don’t care.

I put up that page on my site because I enjoy making biscuits for the dogs and wanted to share a few recipes.  The page was intended as one dog owner sharing recipes with other dog owners.  It’s not a substitute for veterinary advice and it’s entirely unreasonable to believe that anyone would take it as such.  As with many pages on the internet, it’s old.  Some of those recipes have weathered well in my kitchen over the years and others have faded.  I haven’t made the treat recipe in question for quite a long time – not because I’m afraid for my dogs’ lives but because I have a sensitive sniffer and those treats make the kitchen smell like garlic while baking.  I should freshen up the page with some new recipes.  Let me consult my Book of Evil to see what I can come up with.

In the meantime, I await with immense anticipation hearing from “all the people on the blogs”.  I love those guys.

29 thoughts on “It wards off vampires, but not trolls apparently.

  1. Onions are toxic to dogs, garlic is toxic to cats, ( causes Heinz disease) but ok for dogs in small amounts.
    In fact some of the higher quality dog food include garlic, so they are full of BS. check out the recipes in my blog for some new ones ;o)

    1. Of the nurses I’ve known IRL and online, I can’t recall any that felt the need to put the word “legal” in front of their profession but it’s good to clarify, I guess.

  2. Wow the last one is something special. Starts off pleasant, I love your site ect, then all of a sudden your a small minded fool. Where did that come from? Wow.

    Didn’t know about the garlic/onion issue till know. Also haven’t visited your site. Maybe put a note telling people if they are worried about evil garlic that they can omit it.

    My cat died of kidney failure. One day she was fine the next she was dead. The vet said it was probably hereditary exasperated by her diet. But we never fed her onions or garlic, sometimes things happen.

  3. So funny! “veteranarean”!!!! I took a dog from MAS 10 years ago who came down with “something”….my vet said looked like distemper the next day. She recommended returning the dog, but instead we crammed garlic and vitamins down her throat around the clock for a week and we finally saw the reward: a sweet, healthy doggie who loves us to this day. We swear by garlic as a supplement! And yes, we switched vets.

  4. I use Bug Off Garlic from Springtime, Inc. Relieved my free roam dogs of multiple ticks, has not shortend any one’s life and my vet doesn’t like it either. There is more to good health than the food they sell (Iams, Science Diet and now, Royal Canine) and topical flea/tick applications.
    You, ebil person, you….how ridiculous!

  5. Well, at least they can all, presumably, sleep well now:

    To a big extent, I think this is the fault of sloppy vet advice & pet column writers. The poison’s always in the dose, but communicating that takes research and some skill. Easier to insist the sky will fall if you bring poinsettias into the house, or summat.

  6. Thoroughly enjoyed your article – “Fake online persona – ur doing it rong” What an idiot! Wonder if he’ll see it and provide some additional amusement fodder!

  7. A lot of people don’t seem to understand that the dosage makes a difference in how dangerous a food is. They think everything on the ‘toxic if eaten’ lists is the equivalent of dog cyanide no matter what the amount.

  8. So when the veteranarean “did an internal look”, that’s called a necropsy. It’s a serious step, not like the veteranarean just unzipped a zipper and said, “OMG. There’s an onion.” Any diligent pet owner would take their pet to the veteranarean regularly where they would discuss things like vaccinations, bloodwork, ummmm, diet, etc.

    1. “unzipped a zipper and said, “OMG. There’s an onion.”
      You just made Diet Coke squirt out my nose – thank you for that! :-))

  9. I, also, have been giving garlic to my own dogs for years. And my dogs are healthy, not choking and gasping for breath as they fall to the ground after intaking their meal spiced with minced garlic, and active yeast powder (like one uses in baking to make dough rise/ and my dogs are not bloating from the yeast either).

    Initially I do begin a pests of fleas & ticks war with a good flea & tick shampoo then followed by a oil based application of anti-flea/tick meds. This should be done in the beginning of these varmits heaviest populace, but to keep control all year long I dose the dogs foods with a garlic/yeast base. It is inexpensive & natural besides being pulled into the commercial products costs that still need to be applied monthly… EXPENSIVE!!! Folks have been giving their dogs garlic for eons… NO DO NOT ALLOW A DOG TO EAT RAW ONIONS, THEY, IN SUCH FORM, ARE TOXIC. Now one sliver a dog may get while you are chopping onions that falls to the floor is not reason to stop cooking to run pooch to the emrgency vet. Yes, you will come back with “but garlic is in the onion family”… All plant life is related as we, way back in the dawn of time, were related to creatures that looked, walked, acted like apes, sooo I should be afraid that my offspring will come to look like a chimp?”

    And it was my late father who raised hunting hounds who clued me in on garlic for dogs. He even made a broth from marrow filled soup bones, onions, some seasons & tossed in garlic perhaps the last 15 seconds, this he poured over dry kibble & fed his dogs daily… All of his hounds lived long lives & were field trial blue ribbon winners… I, myself, only give my dogs the garlic every other day, but then I do not live in a dense forested or grassed area, but the desert.

    We are, and were a family who loved & loves their canines, and my own mother was a RN. So Kevin Rice, think you need to stick to nursing humans & stop giving advise that is not your forte’. For that matter, most of the Rxs doctors prescribe have toxic side effects, so are we to not take them?

  10. I’m not a “legal” anything so take this with a giant pinch of the salt of your choosing, but I’m pretty sure that onions in very large quantities are toxic even to humans. (It seems I’ve read something about large “doses” causing some sort of anemia symptoms, if I recall correctly, but a quick google search didn’t yield any solid sources but a few interesting anecdotes.)

  11. We even give garlic to ……(drum roll please) ……. a bunch of cats! Yeah, we also get the fearmongering reactions from HUMANS, and we like what Lori says — heck, even WATER can kill in high enough dosage. Google it. Hehehehe. Herbalists know that garlic has many important therapeutic components. And no one is forcing “Kevin Rice” (is that Kevin Chickenand Rice?) to prepare or feed dogs from a recipe on the internet. Hooboy. Thanks for sharing, it sure makes for fun reading!!

  12. I am so sorry you’re getting hit by the garlic trolls. But that just made my Monday morning. I needed a laugh. Seriously. I hope you share and/or make fun of more hate mail. You are my eebil hero. Ps. as a proud owner of black cats all my life, skip the fluffy white cat to round off your eebil persona and instead get a slinky black one. They don’t need crystal goblets. They prefer chipmunks, squirrels and the occasional snake to munch on which require no goblets. Way more terrifying… :)

  13. For decades medical schools never taught diet or food quality. Knee jerk was Rx something for everything. That has slowly begun to change but not without a lot of resistance from those who “spent the bucks” and learned the science.
    Nutrition and supplements, and mind body connection is a fairly new science. Historically PHARMA industries got their hooks into med students early on and contributed to this closed mind – if it isn’t a drug it has no value approach.

    The same can be said of the vet profession. If Purina doesn’t sanction it it is voodoo – witchcraft. I have been told such by those too full of themselves by the westernized culture that they were God like creatures. My experience overseas – where big Animal PHARMA doesn’t exist and holistic medicine does, taught me a more cautious total being approach by vets in those countries.

    And Dr. Pitcairn and Dr. Lisa Pierson (amongst others) has and will continue to be a life saver for the animals in my care when Purina, Diamond, and Menu (just to name a few) continue to compromise lives and health of my animals. Their profits before life is unacceptable to me who has spent thousands trying to reverse the effects of their products.

  14. Lol I needed a laugh like this. Thanks! I also love how the 2nd email starts off all nice but then gets really blunt by the end of it lol

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